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In response to my controversial post on FB

January 9, 2013

I am using this blog to continue the discussion, especially with Maha based on our exchange of thoughts on Facebook with regard to my point of view that the boyfriend of the girl was negligent that night and is choosing to blame everyone except himself.

Maha’s thesis –

You have based your entire view on what would have happened based on the video.  You did judge the guy on trying to be a hero. You judged the guy on his intentions when you said it couldn’t be planned also because he is perfectly fine with no fractures. You also made a verdict that it’s not in India’s DNA to help people and also he should be booked for negligence.

The point I am trying to make here is no one should try to be a detective here and try and connect dots which are not there. It’s the same attitude which leads to some people in our society believe girls get raped because they talk on cell phones and men eat chow mein.

a) When you said ” foolish boyfriend who wants to be a hero on TV.” -This was not said by that guy. There is no legal perspective here and in some weird sense you are suggesting that he knew about the rape and thus he would be on TV because of it?
b)When you say “a guy in Delhi, knowing it is unsafe a) enter a bus that was not official public transport ” are you suggesting that this incident just couldn’t have happened at any other place in Delhi?
c) You said “And then he says no one helped – why would anyone ” – I would have and I am pretty sure lot of other people would have also helped. Just like you have your reasons to firmly believe that no one would have I have my own reasons and experiences to believe that its in our DNA to help people. I don’t seek any validations from a blogger on WSJ.
d) And finally when you say “He should also be booked under Section 304 A causing death by negligence.” … I see nothing but your absolute final judgement in making that guy responsible for everything. You have taken that person’s statement and weaved a story around it based on your notions. And also you ask me a question whether I would pick up a fight with those people, you also seem to have an answer for that ‘sensible people’ don’t that. Are you also suggesting that any man who stands up for his woman when being insulted is being stupid? These are just Ad hominem arguments.
As your friend Divya Iyer rightly said this article is written in a poor taste and you have missed or misunderstood the plot.

My response –

To start with you are judging my views and doing so incorrectly. I have made no judgement. Let’s not get confused between judgement and perspective. I made no verdict. I am talking from experience of myself and others who have gone through similar experiences in Delhi and there is a reason why people don’t help in such cases as I have stated. We are not connecting dots and no one is being a detective here. He states in his interview that he hit those men and it is unfortunately human nature for a group to take revenge against another individual who is causing them physical harm.

On point a – it’s unfortunate that you are interpreting the way you do. I never suggested that he knew of the rape and thus would be on TV because of it.

On point b – this incident may or may not have happened and I am not predicting anything hypothetically. All I am saying is that the guy is blaming everything but himself – he is blaming people who did not help. He is blaming cops who could did not come on time. he is blaming hospital for the improper care. Not once does he blame himself.

On point c – you are carefully choosing part of the sentence to sensationalise it . Please read the sentence in its entirety  – why would anyone a) because it could be a plan to get conned if someone stopped to help as often people do on the road and b) helping strangers is not in Delhi’s and India’s DNA because people are stingy and and afraid of being court witnesses – this is the reality. If you believe people would have helped – why did they not do so that night? are you saying the girl’s life would have been saved if you or people like you were passing by that spot that night?

The WSJ author is not a blogger but an India based researcher and writer for WSJ India.

On point d – You are wrong again at two levels. I have made no judgement. You are confusing perspective with judgement. You are getting emotional instead of being rational. There is no story that has been woven. The issue you are mixing up is a man standing up for his woman vs a man standing up for his woman at the cost of endangering her life, which is what he has done.

I am not even getting into unclaimed reports of how there are allegations that he was paid a hefty sum (approx Rs 5 lakh) for appearing on Zee TV and also about the innocent girl’s father demanding an equal sum to reveal her name. That is a different discussion point.

My post is about how men are destroying society and blaming it on women. And about how the an innocent girl paid for her life because of 7 men – 6 beasts who were disgusting that night and a boyfriend who was negligent to an extent.

Fine – they had no option but to take that bus as he claims on national TV. While they had no right to touch that girl and no one should have the right to touch another woman the fact is that he beat them up and then they attacked him and her. We cannot take law into our hands unless we are prepared to pay a price. In this case he made the innocent girl pay with her life.

While you have the right to disagree with my views you have no right to decide if my views are a pile of rubbish. How much of my views are you aware of? What have you done after this incident to contribute to make a positive change after the incident? How can you be a judge that the boy was not negligent?

Having said all this, you and some others have conveniently chosen to ignore the following, which is the crux of my viewpoint:

Every rape happens because of a man – either that useless father who did not teach his son the right values and the son himself who chose to go astray and commit this horrendous crime.

I still stand by what I said and strongly believe it is not rubbish. I wish we learn to debate with more civility as a nation rather than conclude that someone’s views are rubbish. I hope the 6 men including the juvenile get a death sentence. I wish we have a law which allows death sentence for rapes and hope people don’t misuse the law. And I am of the belief rapes and crimes like eve teasing, molestation and the like are never a woman’s fault but always the man’s. I also believe if a juvenile can rape he is no more a juvenile.

A woman should have the right to dress up and live as she wants and no one should question that right to freedom. Every human being should have the right to share a perspective and no one can judge it to be rubbish. Disagreement is fine and I welcome it.

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